Columbines

June 23, 2010, Georgetown, CO; elev. 8600’
08:51:58, hours MDT
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The columbines are coming out @ 8600’ and above.

Walked Ellie-Mae the day before yesterday along the Argentine-Central grade from Plume up and over the saddle onto Guanella Pass between the G-town Water Supply and Clear Lake and back. Was about 5.5 hrs. and maybe 10- 12 miles.

A man I met this past winter from Sema on the re-construction project of lower Guannela here south of town told me that he met the teenager who died last week on a fall on the mountainside. He cried and was very touching to hear this from this man. He has a love for hiking in winter-conditions like a lot of us and seemed to need to talk. I empathize with his story and have grown a liking to him although I know him only as an acquaintance.

I love the early morning transition from Marine and Civil twilight and the coolness just before the dawn while walking Ellie. She is in good shape and yesterday we rested. Todays usual… was up the narrow-gauge to second trestle and then back and under the High Gate. Maybe a 1.5 hr. walk.

Krishnamurti

June 18, 2010, Georgetown, CO; elev. 8600’
08:12:46, hours MDT
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Yesterday, Blake and his friend rode bike’s over and stopped up to see me about sundown. He looks good on the outside. Told me he and his brother and Mom went to TX to see her bf and go all over. He sounded as if he were enjoying himself. I like that he stops by. I wonder how he is doing with the circumstances in his family, however. When he comes around by himself the opportunity to actually talk w/ him may present itself.

Here at the house the pesky plastic fire-alarms on the ceilings have for a reason unknown been ‘chirping’. The morning walk w/ Ellie-Mae up on the narrow-gauge tracks began and finished nicely. Was 38° at approx. 06:15 hours. Wore the khaki/flannel over-shirt from the donation table over at Arid.

The right leg is nearly healed and much stronger. Funny thing folks― when my body injures itself, my mind loops in those automatic thoughts telling my limbic system that…’this is the way it is going to be no matter what’. (Is this at all similar to your experiences?)…This automatic response to injury can hamper my attitude and at times, certainly does, which provides me the deleterious capability to forget about the wondrous powers of healing physically. The leg is much stronger now and all the training is paying off. Going along w/ the diet and sleep hygiene over the past weeks I’ve managed to build in rest, restfulness and the stretching asanas― to limber up. This combination talks to my being in a way that makes my attitude more confident. I am ready and in good shape to go over to NRIM for a set of hikes. Am thinking about both on the NRIM and South.

It is 08:26:09 now and the sun-up has arrived on the back-sunroom and now warmth and sunlight are streaming into the kitchen. I love the feeling of the strength of the rays on my face as I type here.

Wrote my father a PDF Father’s Day card and sent to my sister’s email address. I think it is in enough time for him to see it.

I am enjoying myself.

Seems all the distractions of the world wash away when I can sense the sunlight’s radiation on my skin and can sniff and smell the scents of the coniferous forest here when outside early in the mornings walking and working my body’s metabolism. Being willed Ellie-Mae by Blake has been a God-send in my opinion. Gives us both reason to walk off the leash!

Here is yesterday’s meditation; as it speaks to me I pray it does similar for you.
Meditations from the Mat, Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison

Day 143
Society does not want individuals who are alert, keen, revolu-
tionary, because such individuals will not fit into the established
social pattern and they may break it up. That is why society
seeks to hold your mind in its pattern, and why your so-called
education encourages you to imitate, to follow, to conform.
J. Krishnamurti

“I am not in a position to comment on your education. Mine was a mixed bag. On the whole it was helpful. Math in particular, though I found it loathsome at the time, sharpened my wits. History taught me to love and respect the beauty of our collective experience. My graduate program in social work helped me see the extent to which I turned a blind eye to the suffering around me. None of it, however, taught me that the love I seek is my own. I did not learn in school that the deep longing I have for this or that outcome is actually the longing I have to be at peace with myself. This information was not in any classroom I ever entered; rather, it was passed on to me be the sages I encountered later, and by every person who has spoken to me honestly. This wisdom is in the smile of my dog’s eye, it is the very music of the earth, the resounding truth of the ages― and it can only be heard when we are still. I share Krishnamurti’s words with you not to cast aspersions on your education, but to remind you that there is another education waiting for you, and that the teacher will be your heart.”

Remember…remember how you long for this or that outcome? Yes, of course you do and what happens to your being when your logicalness doesn’t pay so well?

This meditation speaks to the wholeness that I pray you find from time-to-time. This non-driven wonder of what Rolf and Katrina speak to in the above meditation. This being peace in the heart― peace with our- selves, regardless of how society shouts at us to do this or that― or else, beware of being smoted!

Have you acquired an ‘old-school’ education on top of your attendances at college or high school? At times my opinion had led me to believe that old-school opens doors in society― and to many extents this has been the case. This being attached to outcomes pretty much kills the peace in the heart.

My healing since Kyle’s death is similar to my metabolism and leg healing. At the outset stunned as I had become last January 16th when I was informed that indeed Kyle was dead my initial educated reaction was; Where am I going to find a replacement for my best friend and confidant…one who KNOWS me inside and will be dispassionate w/ me and honestly speak to me similar to the meditation above? My educated reaction to my leg becoming injured was similar― how am I going to manage to walk and backpack and still be athletic when now the leg is nearly lame? How am I going to be now that my body’s agility has been compromised?

The meditation speaks to me about remembering that this or that desired outcome is a nice system of thoughts and reactions bringing into being a direction that taps my limbic system. Being at peace w/ me has little to do with my education but does have more to do with enjoying myself and entering into the realms of happiness and tranquility. This calm or stillness or serenity is not so quiet. It is whereby the means to smile like Rolf’s dog smiles at him swirls into and around my being. I sense this smile in Ellie’s eye at times and does she worry as about the IRS or the BP oil-rig debacle unfolding in the Gulf? Does she worry how her nails look and which attire to don at which occasion? No! Let me disabuse you of any other notion here.
――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――
In my humble opinion it is doing…(asana)…what I love to do, whether it be avocation, occupation, work ,reading noteworthy literature and books, hobby, vocation, volunteering to do something that has benefit for others and exercising my metabolism and allowing my body to work for me. The latter has lots of significance for my living at this time as it has for the past five years. I love exercising
the metabolism the most I suppose. Being stuck inside a mobile as Bob Dylan sang about has served in the past to be one of those teaching sessions that I cast no aspersions toward you folks. Your stuck inside a mobile may well look different from my-stuck. My stuck ness certainly was at times ‘having to go to the job’ certainly was all the street-smarts that helped me to survive and thrive at various eras in my living, however it is the working of my body which brings me peace with me. This working my body’s metabolism culminates with reading and involving my body/mind in the varying avocations made available to me in this American society. I wonder how others w/ less fortunate lives find this peace within their beings. It seems to me to be more important than to dress for success and sip lattes at places where people in America go to be seen.
I am ready for the Trip to AZ now and about the only thing remaining will be timing. The Arid Club is hosting its annual Father’s Day potluck at Morris Park in Lakewood and I liked the atmosphere there last year. Should I attend I will bring a watermelon or two. My Father’s Day obligations are okay, I wrote to my father…outside of this there is not much else other than the 80 mile RT drive to the Club and picnic,; or I can be on the way through the Mtns. of Colorado on my way to NRIM.

This portion of the meditation ―> “… None of it, however, taught me that the love I seek is my own. I did not learn in school that the deep longing I have for this or that outcome is actually the longing I have to be at peace with myself….” And this―> “Society does not want individuals who are alert, keen, revolu-
tionary, because such individuals will not fit into the established
social pattern and they may break it up. That is why society
seeks to hold your mind in its pattern, and why your so-called
education encourages you to imitate, to follow, to conform.”

― these portions above ring so clear. Clear as the bells here in town tolled on the hour during daylight hours, especially on the weekends. Clear as the coniferous scenting on the breezes and clear as the morning daylight making the night time sky come alive. The so-called education prepared me little.

The longing to be at peace with myself is so clear and abundant today. Today was the clearing in my mind so that I could write about this again. I smile as I pray you are able to, as well. Thank you to these sages and people through-out the timeline of living; who have availed themselves and spoke with me honestly, I’m grateful.

Remember friends―> ‘enjoy yourself’!

--frost on the narrow-gauge tracks this morning--

June 15, 2010 Georgetown, CO; elev. 8600 ft.
07:58:53, Hours, MDT



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This meditation seems to sum up some the energy involved― to remaining INSIDE when the distractions are seemingly endless and trying at best―shieldinmg these disturbances does nothing other than make us chronic controllers, correct?

Day 139
Meditations from the Mat

For those who have come to grow, the whole world is a garden.
For those who have come to learn, the whole world is a
university. For those who have come to know God,
the whole world is a prayer mat.
M.R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen

“Relax, and take this in before you practice today. Breathe into these words, this idea. Feel the difference. Most of the time, when I come to the mat, the whole world is a place to confirm my low self-esteem. I come to the mat to strive, to control, to win. Coming to the mat to win, I lose. What if I came to the mat to grow, to learn, and to know God?”

June 10, 2010

June 10, 2010 G-town, CO
10:10:04 hours, MDT

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fr. Meditations from the Mat

Day 136
You must learn to be still in midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose.
Indira Gandhi

“For most of us, the asana are a long walk back. I spent years on the mat thinking this was not so for me, because as an athlete I had had a very physical past. As my practice has deepened, though, I’ve become aware that I have had to start where everyone starts, with my relationship to God, my body, and to everything else. The fear that separates me from myself, from God, and from others had separated me from my body as well.

“I realized the truth of this when I finally got to the point where my practice was no longer about results. As long as I was practicing to get somewhere, I was not able to understand where I was. For me, the breakthrough came while I was teaching, and watching my students struggle with this on their mats. As I taught others to become still, my teachings began to seep into my own awareness. I began to see that my practice was just another goal-driven exercise, and not what it was meant to be―the exploration of stillness in action.

“The long walk back has been about experiencing where I am. It’s about remembering my feet in a posture where my focus is elsewhere, learning to delight in the how and when as opposed to the why. The asana are a road map to our true natures. In T.E. White’s children’s classic The Once and Future King, Merlin educates the young Arthur by turning him into one creature after another, so that he may better understand the various aspects of his own nature. This is the journey of the asana. We learn to be calm and still in action, vibrantly alive in stillness”

At times here in the Central foothills of the Rocky Mtns. I sense the God; that this meditation instructs us to, allow in to our awareness.

At times I sense the stillness in repose as well, while walking along the narrow-gauge tracks as has become my habit at daybreak nearly every morning w/ Ellie-Mae.

At times I sense remembering my feet when my focus is elsewhere. I try every time to walk heel-to-toe along one rail or the other. This balancing exercise is not about results as the meditation speaks to but about increasing my body’s awareness internally to remember where my feet are in-the-moment while I look out through my eyes slightly ahead to maintain my gaze.

I notice all the distractions present and it is becoming less of the struggle to allow the distractions to just be. While allowing these myriad distractions to be, i.e. the flitting bird, the insect or Ellie’s body up in front crossing my peripheral vision; my awareness returns again to my feet, my arches and the knees.



It is a lot similar to the job of hod-carrier I held for nearly 18 yrs. Walking a 2x10 or 2x12 plank or an eight quarter x 12 plank while carrying a shovel or bucket of mud or piece of scaffolding or arm load of brick was similar to this meditation― in that I practiced the knowingness―the remembering where my feet were, notwithstanding the distractions registered by my brain. I sense the presence of God not in the customer-service areas of my experience nor in most AA meetings nor at many churches, but in this practice that Rolf and Katrina speak to.



The energy in the body is arriving and after Kyle’s death, it, in my experience has been a shorter way back to myself, considering the shaking-up of my external world since.



Asana practice helps me to remember the simple exercise of bending to the ground to pick something up. This simple physical maneuver helps me to remember that going fast; stooping quickly for the retrieval― is not remembering where my feet are. It is the desire to, the wanting to, stretch the hamstrings and lower back muscle-web and slowly bend and at times extend my belly button and breathe in and allow for the air to fill the lungs all the way down to the navel and then ‘feeling’ the back elongate and the spine stretch― that in my humble opinion brings me back to the God discussed in this meditation.



It is so much more that the intellectual exercise and verbal acclamation that people seem to give through in their ablutions to describe the God that they tell us all about. In my opinion again, I do believe it is asana practice that brings us back to our selfs. And this journeying back seems to be with God.


Whatever God is, that is!



Smile my friends the end is not near!

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June 3, 2010, Georgetown, CO
08:19:36 hours, MDT

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Memorial Day in Boulder @ the Boulder Bolder was of course refreshing…however I did do something that my metabolism is still paying for. Julie and I at the end of our walking tour of Boulder purchased an ‘eight piece’ baked chicken from the service counter at the Table Mesa King Soopers. My intestines continue to be sluggish attempting to pass the grease and the animal it-self. For the most part the vegetarianism over many weeks and months is suffering. I only suppose that it has to work much harder eating higher on the so-called food chain.

Consequently, my mood is listless and lethargic. My experience has exemplified that eating lower on the food chain w/o so much processed oils and fructose syrups has served to keep my internal mood even… my preference is to try to adhere to this caloric-intake regimen and NOT give-in to the ubiquitous availabilities of processed foods as the so-called ‘convenience’ of American life. This ‘convenience’ is tolling my internal fortitude.

My notion regarding dispassionate friendships has a caveat― this being that the unattached ness or prey to emotional moods will be absent in the maturity of this friendship. The emotional attachments to easy=foods for quick and easy buying in my experience as this notion relates to the topic would be discussable in the mature friendship. Hence the dispassionateness and the verbal and non-verbal cures to NOT buy this sort of thing to satisfy some idea about eating when exhausted. A salad and source of digestible protein would have been much better and USABLE by the metabolism.
Today my intestines removed some of the residue left from Monday’s foray into quick-shop eating. Paying attention does take concerted effort and I’m paying for giving in to the ideas of another whose metabolism is accustomed to customarily eating much higher on the food chain.

Meditations from the Mat, Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
Day 129

"A hundred times a day I remind myself that my life depends on
the labors or other men, living and dead, and that I must exert
myself in order to give, in measure that I received, and am
still receiving.”
Albert Einstein
“My first spiritual advisor used the phrase “making your bed” to describe the ongoing work of self-care. The eight limbs are a way to make our bed. They are work orders for living well. Having laid out the means for a good life, Pantanjali goes on to define the ends― the purusartha, or four aims of life. Readied for life by our practice, we are able to embrace the purusartha.

“According to the Yoga Sutras, the four aims of life are dharma, artha, kama, and moska. In this instance, dharma is the active observance of spiritual discipline. It is the weaving together of the yamas and the niyamas into a way of life. If dharma is the creation of a life in balance on a spiritual plane, then artha is the creation of a life in balance on the physical plane. Work, family, money―all brought into balance and are in keeping with one’s spiritual values. Kama is enjoyment of the fruits of one’s labors. It is not enough to plant the garden and cultivate it with care; we must set aside time to enjoy it as well. Moska is the final aim of life, liberation. Dharma, artha and kama are our actions; in moska we surrender the fruits of our actions to the universe. We let go of everything and hold onto nothing.

“We are all performing purusartha in our own ways, just as our parents did and our grandparents before them. We do not need yoga in order to work toward a happy, fulfilled life. Yoga simply gives us the outline. The purusartha bring together all the work of this path, while the individual limbs of yoga are the trees. They re like the forest, Use the purusartha as a means to keep sight of the forest as you immerse your self in the trees ahead.”

I get that Kama has been untowardly affected by my reaching into my pockets for a quick buck for a quick meal after a decent activity-day w/ Jules @ the Boulder Bolder. Paying attention to the subtleties of this sort of circumstance will not go unnoticed. Enjoying the so-called garden might have been the creation of TIME to arrange a wholesome meal after the good day exercising on the surface streets there.